I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
