My sheets look like a crime scene.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
no you cant smoke seaweed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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