He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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