So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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