I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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