I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
