So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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