I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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