dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
