Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
