Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize