So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
