hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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