I'm gonna have a badass scar
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
