i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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