I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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