he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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