love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
