Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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