My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
