What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
