I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
