Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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