Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
