So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am mentally ready for anal.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
