Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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