When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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