remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
