break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
