pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He passed out mid-signature
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
