Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
