He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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