I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
