haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
