I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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