I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
