his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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