Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
