I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
