Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
