Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize