I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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