If that was your dad, he is hot
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
