I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Green mimosas i think yes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Randomize
