okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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