smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
