cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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