i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
