Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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