you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
