we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
