So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
