well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
